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Written works and thoughts 

Notes on drawing 24.4.21

i. Earthing

 

 

Why am I afraid of emptiness? Give me background noise, the murmur of nonsense, receptive drones and tones. Anything but that horrifying silence. A vacuum of unanswered questions, unrelenting thoughts and doubt.

The wider the universe seems,

the more claustrophobic I feel.

When I was a child, I had this thought that for every second my eyes were closed, an unknown figure on the opposite side of the world would take one step closer. Only to be reset when I opened my eyes again. This heavy sense of dread has stuck with me ever since and life has only further proven to me that this dread is justified. Everything ends. This is the universes’ intrinsic truth. It is inevitable and it is an unrelenting figure taking slow and laboured steps closer when you aren’t looking. And there is nothing I can do to gain any control. Frozen with fear and being suffocated at the hands of my own defining thoughts.

 

No.

Breathe. That is life. That is the path to my core- my intrinsic truth.

 

In Out

Inhale Exhale

Forward Backward

Push Pull

Give Take

 

These forces are all essential to life. Duality and multiple truths will always exist and embracing this inevitability is the path forward.    

iii. Intrinsic / belonging / naturally / essential

 

This is my intrinsic truth.

It is beyond my reach.

It slips through my grasp

and exists all around me.

Intangible -

a ghost

 

But I feel it.

I feel it in my being

To my core.

The gestures and marks on the surface,

A manifestation of my intrinsic truth.

ii. Bodily Engagement

 

Inaction and reaction. Both must be in perfect balance to create. We perceive and the information travels through our bodies- our individual networks or sorting systems that are built by our bodily experiences. It is in this expressive involvement of our whole being, which begins with observation, that leads to creation.

At the base of every drawing are a series of implied movements from the creator. In everything we do our body orientates us in the world and these marks left on the surface can be almost autographic in nature.

 

These marks are very personal and seek to not only communicate details or to be representative of the world but to rebuild the world through our own bodily experiences.

 

They are intuitive rather than explicit.

 

This is my voice,

my language.

It is honest,

instinctive

and real.

iv. The ineffable figure

 

I am learning,

through these actions and gestures,

that the unknown entity,

slowly approaching.

Day by day

Hour by hour

Minute by minute

Is no enemy and is not to be feared.

 

We exist in harmony,

They push,

I pull.

They step closer,

I create.

Compositions of line, colour,

positive and negative space.

My choices,

unending and ceaseless,

aim to enable others to identify

with my values and my perception.

Here lies a felt aesthetic empathy.

ACTIVATION 18.3.21

Noun:

  1. the action or process of making something active or operative.

IN CHEMISTRY

     1. the process of making a substance chemically or catalytically active.

 

   There are several ways in which artists seek to activate their work, such as engaging and collaborating with the audience, performing happenings that illicit a response or by simply opening up about their process of creation. I am incredibly private about my creation (or activation) process, that begins not from the first mark made but during the almost meditative process that occurs before. I look inward and try to activate or stir something within that drives me to create. By acknowledging my part in the works activation and allowing the work to be shown to others, I simultaneously take responsibility and control over the work and surrender or give up a measure of control to the viewer.

 

   I need to trust the viewer- turned- participant and allow the work to become a conduit for a two way exchange of feelings, ideas and experiences. All media that is consumed by an audience each individual brings their own experiences, emotions and expectations to the work, therefore activating the piece further and further- far beyond the hands of the creator.

I have also been considering the physical activation of my drawings in an instillation space- how might the pieces move and come alive as they float, flutter and cascade as the audience moves past them and what would this further injection of life do for the work.

   

   I feel that this quote from Duchamp summarises my pondering quite well, “All in all, the creative act is not performed by the artist alone; the spectator brings the work in contact with the external world by deciphering and interpreting its inner qualifications and thus adds his contribution to the creative act,”

Time Tremored 1.12.20

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'Time Tremored' 2020, Automatic graphite drawing and type writer.

A text and time piece reflecting on Renee Gladman's Journal on e-flux 'The Order of Time' (Go check this out its great) and my time during lockdown. 

Afterword 8.12.20

Afterwords

Afterwards?

Afterword. Noun: a concluding section in a book

in hindsight everything is different. And reflection is always a good thing.

      hindsight is 2020 lol

is time as we experience it at our feet broken?

      looking o the night sky for answers/                      distraction = us in 2020 looking unto our            black screens for the news. when will this            end?

black screen = a black mirror

how can we reflect atm?We can post but nor essay max 280 characters per tweet. Say it quick.

      Afterword? There is no time.

'Afterword' , 2020, automatic writing on type writter.

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Notes on 'Furioso' and 'Lacrimoso' Triptychs 07.19

Both pieces spring from the need to create something as organic and immediate as possible through printmaking. By using carborundum my process was relatively spontaneous and immediate and I embraced every mistake as a new mark. They are both heavily inspired by the surrealist ideas of automatic drawing and randomness and have both come from a place of simply feeling out emotions combined with physically responding to other subject matter such as music. Another similarity is the quality of the unpressed paper, both are still heavily embossed and textured and the paper is Hana Muller, German etch.

 

‘Furioso’

(played in a furious and wild manner)

Carborundum and Dry point Triptych

 

This piece was made whilst listening to Shostakovich’s 5th Symphony, specifically the 4th Movement (Allegro Non Troppo) and Tchaikovsky’s 5th Symphony’s 4th movement (Andante maestoso)

Shostakovich’s 5th Symphony has been long debated on its sincerity of rejoicing, as it was composed under the treat of punishment of the Stalin’s communist regime to compose a piece that described Communisms triumph and ending in a big celebration. Musically this is shown throw the repeated A’s at the end of the finale from the strings and woodwind. Visually I used a large brush for the dark sweeping marks. They are heavy and yet shrill at the same time brining a heavy feeling to the triptych. The colour selection in this triptych is important too as it is a rarity in my work but I felt that to best show the feeling within this piece I needed a striking and powerful mix of colours hence the burnt orange and red hues.

“deep, meaningful, gripping music, classical in the integrity of its conception, perfect in form and the mastery of orchestral writing—music striking for its novelty and originality, but at the same time somehow hauntingly familiar, so truly and sincerely does it recount human feelings” - Henrich Neuhaus on Shostakovich No.5

Although both pieces of music stated about may not be angry or wild, I feel this is the

musical term that best describes how I felt whilst listening and creating this piece. I find

that by putting your own feelings into a piece of work it acts as a spring board for the

audience to take what they feel and think from it.

 

‘Lacrimoso’

(played in a sad or mournful manner)

Carborundum and Drypoint Triptych

 

Music that inspired this piece was Tchaikovsky’s 5th Symphony’s 2nd movement, specifically the French horn solo near the beginning. I play the French horn so always identify and listen out for this instrument. Although this is a very romantic passage I feel it has a lot of weight too it and a sorrowful undertone. Also Prokofiev’s suite from Romeo and Juliet: Death of Tybalt which is an incredibly mournful piece of music heavily inspired this triptych. This piece was created by combining all three plates together and painting to the music. The lines are significantly smaller and lighter compared the to the other triptych however the monochromatic pallet combined with the slower and more thought out lines to me symbolise grief and sadness.

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'Furioso', 2019, carborundum and drypoint triptych, 118cm x 84cm each

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'Lacrimoso', 2019, carborundum and drypoint triptych, 118cm x 84cm each

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